Probably the best tool in your toolbox for change, is belief in yourself!! Without that, you can practice all you want to get to your destiny, but it will likely be filled with obstacles and disappointment!!
This is why it is often said that as long as there is a desire to change, no matter how many times you try, you will eventually reach the goal... this is beyond truth, folks! Without a sincere desire to change, you will only wind up disappointed.
All of this may sound blatantly obvious, but think back to a goal that you wanted to reach but never met... I can almost guarantee that if you dig deep enough, you will discover that your desire for that goal waned at some point. I'm not saying that you 100% did not want that change, it's just that the benefit of that change in your life at that time did not create a strong enough desire to reach it.
What are the "excuses" for you not reaching your goal? Sit down and do some soul searching with excuses. Excuses are mostly tools to self-sabotage. I'll talk more about excuses in my next post.
"What we think determines what happens to us, so if we want to change our lives, we need to stretch our minds." ~Wayne Dyer
Stay positive... stay true to you!
Sue
Sunday, January 29, 2012
Monday, January 16, 2012
React or respond, it's your choice!!
Obstacles, challenges, painful experiences are put in our path to teach us lessons we need to learn which bring us to better places in our lives. These experiences are what help us to gain wisdom! But, as with many difficult experiences, it is so much easier to react rather than respond.
You might be wondering what the difference is between the two... reacting is that initial feeling you get that makes you want to lash out at the person/situation that has upset you. Responding is thinking through your emotions, and recognizing your own personal responsibility/accountability in an upsetting situation. Responding is also recognizing whether or not the situation that you are so riled up about is worth addressing or not... I've learned that far more often than not, not addressing the situation is usually the best option. This can often be way easier said than done, as human nature is to dump all our emotions somewhere else just to get rid of them.
One of the best quotes I've ever come across was from French author, Anais Nin:
Sue
You might be wondering what the difference is between the two... reacting is that initial feeling you get that makes you want to lash out at the person/situation that has upset you. Responding is thinking through your emotions, and recognizing your own personal responsibility/accountability in an upsetting situation. Responding is also recognizing whether or not the situation that you are so riled up about is worth addressing or not... I've learned that far more often than not, not addressing the situation is usually the best option. This can often be way easier said than done, as human nature is to dump all our emotions somewhere else just to get rid of them.
One of the best quotes I've ever come across was from French author, Anais Nin:
“We don't see things as they are, we see them as we are.”
Our reactions to change often stems from how we are "see" that change through our own eyes. This is what makes having good friends who can offer their perspectives on a situation so very valuable! Not that their "view" is necessarily correct, but different perspectives can give us insight and help us better manage our response to a situation and avoid that gut reaction.
How does this relate to change and goals? When your diet/fitness plan isn't going as you planned or relationship/friendship fell apart, how you respond is ultimately up to you! You could give up and bury your head in the sand, give up on dieting or relationships. Or, you can ask yourself, "what did I learn from this?" Then carefully listen to the answer so that when you are in a similar situation down the road, you will be better able to respond more appropriately or make changes so that you do not recreate a negative behavior pattern.
For example, if you often give up once you've cheated on your diet, maybe you'll realize that you do that because you begin the process of self-loathing which is such a negative energy that perpetuates hopelessness and failure. So, the next time you fall off the diet wagon, you realize that you are just human and it's not the end of the world and you will get back on track!! Or, if a relationship ended, you recognize that perhaps it had run its course or was not a healthy relationship to begin with... Then just keep moving forward in hope and faith that things happen (or don't) to put you in a better place to in the future! This involves having faith in God, the Universe or your higher power...
In every difficult situation is potential value. Believe this, then begin looking for it. ~Norman Vincent Peale
It is a rough road that leads to the heights of greatness. ~Seneca
Stay positive,
Sue
Sunday, January 8, 2012
Success breeds success...
The last post focused on how change is a process, not an event and how to meet your goals you should focus on the goal in terms of small, manageable action steps.
Think about a time in your life when you have experienced success and the feelings you had when that happened. Amazing stuff, right? You likely experienced happiness and joy that you wished you could bottle up to use in the future. These feelings (vibrations) are what the universe picks up on and start to bring you the people, places, things you desire. Yet most of us do not experience these feelings frequently enough to bring an abundance of what we desire.
My point? Setting small, manageable goals sets us up for success. Success creates and sends out those positive vibrations to the universe which returns great things to us. So, if you experience a lot of these small successes, more good feelings are created which will motivate you to continue the actions steps towards your goals. The universe will start to continuously bring you more of what you want/desire which will get you to your goal faster.
Success is also a habit that we need to practice daily. This practice not only includes action steps towards your goals, but practicing monitoring our negative thoughts and learning how to turn them around into positive thoughts about reaching your goals. It can be challenging at first, but if you start off small and do it every day, your success will breed success and success will start to snowball in your life!! Trust me! I've lived this and practiced it - it works!
'Til next time...
Stay positive!
Sue
Think about a time in your life when you have experienced success and the feelings you had when that happened. Amazing stuff, right? You likely experienced happiness and joy that you wished you could bottle up to use in the future. These feelings (vibrations) are what the universe picks up on and start to bring you the people, places, things you desire. Yet most of us do not experience these feelings frequently enough to bring an abundance of what we desire.
My point? Setting small, manageable goals sets us up for success. Success creates and sends out those positive vibrations to the universe which returns great things to us. So, if you experience a lot of these small successes, more good feelings are created which will motivate you to continue the actions steps towards your goals. The universe will start to continuously bring you more of what you want/desire which will get you to your goal faster.
Success is also a habit that we need to practice daily. This practice not only includes action steps towards your goals, but practicing monitoring our negative thoughts and learning how to turn them around into positive thoughts about reaching your goals. It can be challenging at first, but if you start off small and do it every day, your success will breed success and success will start to snowball in your life!! Trust me! I've lived this and practiced it - it works!
Thinking is a habit, and like any other habit, it can be changed; it just takes effort and repetition.
~ John Eliot, Ph.D. ~
Winners make a habit of manufacturing their own positive expectations in advance of the event.
~ Brian Tracy ~
'Til next time...
Stay positive!
Sue
Sunday, January 1, 2012
Important! Change is a process NOT an event...
Here we are, January 1, 2012. So, what changes/goals are you moving towards this year?
In your journey towards your goals, it is really important to remember that it is just that, "a journey". A series of actions in which we take some steps forward and some steps backwards. Some of the greatest joy I've ever experienced came to me during the journey towards a goal, rather than actually reaching it - but reaching the destination provides plenty of joy, too!!
This can be a difficult to embrace because we live in such an instant gratification culture. God forbid we have to actually wait more than seconds or minutes for something. Have you ever experienced this while texting someone? I have! You know, that feeling like it is taking someone forever to respond to one of your messages when in reality, it's maybe been 10 minutes... or less. We have so much at our available to us at the push of a button which makes waiting so challenging.
What one thing can you do today make it happen? The most important thing I've learned to make changes in my life is to think big but act small. What does this mean? Always, always, always envision yourself reaching the goal and what that looks and feels like, but savor the experiences in reaching your destination, both the good and the bad. The good fuels our fire to keep going, and the bad can be great learning experience if you choose to view it as that rather than letting it rattle your world - easier said than done at times, though.
Whatever general idea you have in your head of how long it will take you to reach a goal, I encourage you to double that amount of time. This may feel discouraging, but I promise you that in doing this, you are setting yourself up for success! Why? Because if you are able to reach the goal sooner, you will feel doubly proud of yourself, if it takes the exact amount of time, then you are also successful. What if it takes longer? Be kind to yourself and embrace it trusting that the universe brought that goal to you in the time that was right for you! Don't question it, don't judge it, just embrace it!
I frequently hear people talk about wanting to lose weight/get fit. Often, someone who has been totally sedentary for months or even years resolves to go to the gym every day or 3-4 times per week. Um, if you've been sedentary for a long time, you are already settting yourself up for failure. How about something like this.... adding 15-30 minutes of exercise 1-2 times per week. Whew, doesn't that feel more doable? Less anxiety provoking? After all, even 15 minutes of activity 1-2 times per week is way more than you were doing if you were sedentary!! Works the same for changing your diet. If you add one healthy food choice per day (or every couple of days) or eliminate/reduce an unhealthy food choice, that's works, too!! Hence my advice to double your goal time.
You will not always be successful in reaching your goals. That's ok, too! Sometimes we need to fall short in order to re-evaluate the goal and perhaps change it or get rid of it all together. I will use losing weight as an example. Many people struggle with reaching that goal because they see it as an event, not a process and the goal usually gets set waaaaaaay too high. But it feels much different if you think of it as a lifestyle change, improving your diet, adding some physical activity, and caring for your body and maybe not having a numerical goal for your weight but just improving your overall health habits. For me, whenever I've looked at health/fitness in this way, I have had far more success.
Above all, be kind to yourself on your journey!!
The road of life twists and turns and no two directions are ever the same. Yet our lessons come from the journey, not the destination.” ~Don Williams, Jr
Stay positive!!
Sue
In your journey towards your goals, it is really important to remember that it is just that, "a journey". A series of actions in which we take some steps forward and some steps backwards. Some of the greatest joy I've ever experienced came to me during the journey towards a goal, rather than actually reaching it - but reaching the destination provides plenty of joy, too!!
This can be a difficult to embrace because we live in such an instant gratification culture. God forbid we have to actually wait more than seconds or minutes for something. Have you ever experienced this while texting someone? I have! You know, that feeling like it is taking someone forever to respond to one of your messages when in reality, it's maybe been 10 minutes... or less. We have so much at our available to us at the push of a button which makes waiting so challenging.
What one thing can you do today make it happen? The most important thing I've learned to make changes in my life is to think big but act small. What does this mean? Always, always, always envision yourself reaching the goal and what that looks and feels like, but savor the experiences in reaching your destination, both the good and the bad. The good fuels our fire to keep going, and the bad can be great learning experience if you choose to view it as that rather than letting it rattle your world - easier said than done at times, though.
Whatever general idea you have in your head of how long it will take you to reach a goal, I encourage you to double that amount of time. This may feel discouraging, but I promise you that in doing this, you are setting yourself up for success! Why? Because if you are able to reach the goal sooner, you will feel doubly proud of yourself, if it takes the exact amount of time, then you are also successful. What if it takes longer? Be kind to yourself and embrace it trusting that the universe brought that goal to you in the time that was right for you! Don't question it, don't judge it, just embrace it!
I frequently hear people talk about wanting to lose weight/get fit. Often, someone who has been totally sedentary for months or even years resolves to go to the gym every day or 3-4 times per week. Um, if you've been sedentary for a long time, you are already settting yourself up for failure. How about something like this.... adding 15-30 minutes of exercise 1-2 times per week. Whew, doesn't that feel more doable? Less anxiety provoking? After all, even 15 minutes of activity 1-2 times per week is way more than you were doing if you were sedentary!! Works the same for changing your diet. If you add one healthy food choice per day (or every couple of days) or eliminate/reduce an unhealthy food choice, that's works, too!! Hence my advice to double your goal time.
You will not always be successful in reaching your goals. That's ok, too! Sometimes we need to fall short in order to re-evaluate the goal and perhaps change it or get rid of it all together. I will use losing weight as an example. Many people struggle with reaching that goal because they see it as an event, not a process and the goal usually gets set waaaaaaay too high. But it feels much different if you think of it as a lifestyle change, improving your diet, adding some physical activity, and caring for your body and maybe not having a numerical goal for your weight but just improving your overall health habits. For me, whenever I've looked at health/fitness in this way, I have had far more success.
Above all, be kind to yourself on your journey!!
The road of life twists and turns and no two directions are ever the same. Yet our lessons come from the journey, not the destination.” ~Don Williams, Jr
Stay positive!!
Sue
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