React or respond, it's your choice!!

Obstacles, challenges, painful experiences are put in our path to teach us lessons we need to learn which bring us to better places in our lives.  These experiences are what help us to gain wisdom!   But, as with many difficult experiences, it is so much easier to react rather than respond.

You might be wondering what the difference is between the two... reacting is that initial feeling you get that makes you want to lash out at the person/situation that has upset you.  Responding is thinking through your emotions, and recognizing your own personal responsibility/accountability in an upsetting situation.  Responding is also recognizing whether or not the situation that you are so riled up about is worth addressing or not...  I've learned that far more often than not, not addressing the situation is usually the best option.  This can often be way easier said than done, as human nature is to dump all our emotions somewhere else just to get rid of them.

One of the best quotes I've ever come across was from French author, Anais Nin: 

“We don't see things as they are, we see them as we are.”

Our reactions to change often stems from how we are "see" that change through our own eyes.  This is what makes having good friends who can offer their perspectives on a situation so very valuable!  Not that their "view" is necessarily correct, but different perspectives can give us insight and help us better manage our response to a situation and avoid that gut reaction.

How does this relate to change and goals?  When your diet/fitness plan isn't going as you planned or relationship/friendship fell apart, how you respond is ultimately up to you!  You could give up and bury your head in the sand, give up on dieting or relationships.  Or, you can ask yourself, "what did I learn from this?"  Then carefully listen to the answer so that when you are in a similar situation down the road, you will be better able to respond more appropriately or make changes so that you do not recreate a negative behavior pattern.

For example, if you often give up once you've cheated on your diet, maybe you'll realize that you do that because you begin the process of self-loathing which is such a negative energy that perpetuates hopelessness and failure.  So, the next time you fall off the diet wagon, you realize that you are just human and it's not the end of the world and you will get back on track!!   Or, if a relationship ended, you recognize that perhaps it had run its course or was not a healthy relationship to begin with...  Then just keep moving forward in hope and faith that things happen (or don't) to put you in a better place to in the future!  This involves having faith in God, the Universe or your higher power...

In every difficult situation is potential value. Believe this, then begin looking for it. ~Norman Vincent Peale

It is a rough road that leads to the heights of greatness.  ~Seneca

Stay positive,

Sue