What Does YOUR Dream Life Look Like?

So, what is the life of your dreams?  What does that look like? 

The life of your dreams does not mean that you need to be a rock star, CEO of a large corporation, or even a Hollywood celebrity.  The life of your dreams may simply mean that you get to spend more time with your family and work less, take a nice yearly vacation or to have a more fulfilling career.  It doesn't necessarily mean a major life overhaul.
Take some time to sit and think about what you really want for yourself and/or your family and evaluating what things are truly important to you.  Many of us spend our time chasing "things", especially those of which are shiny, new, and expensive... or, we chase money - trust me, I'm just as guilty of this at times as anyone else.

I've been inventorying my own life and some of the things I'm looking at is learning how to work smarter, not harder... spending more of my spare time doing the things that I love... spending time with friends and family along with eating healthier, and better managing my stress.  Overall, I feel I need to re-gain some more balance in my life. 

But don't hold back if you are looking for something on a much grander scale!!  That's ok, too! 
Once you've decided just what it is you desire, then it's time to pretend what it looks and feels like once your life is where you want it to be.  If you have no idea what it may look and feel like, get in touch with your inner child and play pretend in your mind.  For me, I visualize every day what my life looks/feels like when it is balanced, when I'm working smarter/not harder, eating healthier and managing my stress.  I work at feeling those feelings and having those visions every day.  I've done it before with other things in my life and have been amazed at how well it works!! 

We often go the route of taking action steps before preparing your mind for achieving your goals.  When you visualize, it's amazing how the universe will line things up and you will not have to exert yourself as much as you think you do...  However action steps are important, too.  Remember, small manageable action steps always keeping in mind your end result!
Perhaps you know you need a change but are not sure what that is...  so your first step would be doing some inventory of what works and what doesn't in your life.

I will leave you with two great quotes:

         Here is the Divine Dichotomy...
The way to ‘get there’ is to ‘be there’.
Just be where you choose to get!’
It’s that simple.        ~Neale Donald Walsh

What you focus on with your thought and feeling is what you attract
into your experience.  ~Law of Attraction quote

Stay positive,
Stay true to you,
Sue

Quotes to ponder...

Here are some of my favorite quotes.  Quotes that have caused me to dig deep, examine my life, and change the way I see and think about the world and my life... 
How do they apply to you?

The voyage of discovery is not in seeking new landscapes, but in having new eyes. ~Marcel Proust 

Love has the power of making you believe what you would normally treat with the deepest suspicion.  ~Mirabeau

Sometimes all you can do is not think, not wonder, not obsess. Just breathe and have faith that everything will work out for the best.

For peace of mind, resign as general manager of the universe. ~Anon  

You do not have to attend every argument you are invited to...  ~Wayne Dyer
 
If you do what you've always done, you'll get what you've always got...  ~Anon

Be open to everything, but attached to nothing!

"The greatest mistake in the world is to pretend to be someone you're not in order to please someone else. Have the courage to be yourself, no matter what. If you ruffle someone's feathers their reaction is not your business. All you can do is be who you are and who you are is one of a kind. But remember, the same thing goes for everyone else so chances are you'll get your feathers ruffled, too. One word will solve all your problems, allow." ~ Jackson Kiddard

"People think a soul mate is your perfect fit, and that's what everyone wants. But a true soul mate is a mirror, the person who shows you everything that is holding you back, the person who brings you to your own attention so you can change your life. A true soul mate is probably the most important person you'll ever meet, because they tear down your walls and smack you awake. A soul mates purpose is to shake you up, tear apart your ego a little bit, show you your obstacles and addictions, break your heart open so new light can get in, make you so out of control that you have to transform your life..." ~ Elizabeth Gilbert

Instead of making up excuses for why something is impossible, it's far better to come up with reasons why it could be possible. One reason why is more powerful than all the reasons why not.~Jackson Kiddard

The Bumps In The Road...

Despite my desire to motivate and inspire people to go after the things they want in life, I can tell you this... there will be bumps in the road on your journey.  Hence the saying... "Nothing worth having comes easy".  Don't get me wrong, I've reached goals and as I've mentioned things "lined up" in my life to make it happen, but there was effort and difficulty along the way.  That's why I will always go back to keeping your eye on the goal and the level of your desire to get there.... "ya gotta want it"
In early November, I lost my mom quite unexpectedly which really shook up the foundation of my life.  My dad passed several years ago.  The world looks very different now that both my parents are gone.  I had a recent health scare, had an awesome opportunity that fell through, and I had to let go of someone I cared deeply for...

It sure feels like I keep getting kicked when I'm down... but I have to have faith that it is all happening to put me in a better place in my life.  This brings me back to the Tony Robbins quote from my previous post...  "the quality of your life is in direct proportion to the amount of uncertainty you can comfortably deal with".  There's so much uncertainty in my life right now that my head is spinning.  I keep faith and hope in my heart that this means the quality of my life is soon to increase to a level beyond my wildest expectations.  How that will all unfold is a huge mystery to me...  which can be quite scary at times. This really difficult time has forced me to truly feel my feelings.  Ironically, I came across this quote which actually made me feel much better during some very dark moments:
 "The only way to find true happiness is to risk being completely cut open." ~ Chuck Palahniuk

The good things in our lives are soooooo precious.  Don't take for granted what you think may be part of your life indefinitely.  None of us have any guarantees.  And for whatever may feel really bad right now, remember people's lives can change in an instant (for better or worse) and there are people out there who wished they had your problems instead of their own.  These are even bigger reasons to go for the things you want in life because it's the good stuff that cushions the bumps so that they don't feel like brick walls!!  Let me add this, there is nothing wrong with wanting "things" or money - it is what enables us to have better lives... but put people first, it will come back to you tenfold.  Success is nothing without someone you love to share it with!

And during those really tough times, scream, yell, cry, talk to a friend... feel your feelings because that is what gets you through to the other side!  And I will keep you posted as to when I arrive at the other side...

Stay positive,
Stay true to you,
Sue

Uncertainty... embrace it!!!

I recently came across a quote by one of the most successful motivational/inspirational speakers of our time... the great Anthony Robbins...  here it is,  "the quality of your life is in direct proportion to the amount of uncertainty you can comfortably deal with"...

It took a while to sink in... but if you can live with a great deal of uncertainty in your life, the likelihood of reaching your goals, dreams, desires increases exponentially!!!
I'm living proof - but it took a while for me to recognize this...   What does this have to do with change?  Well, we often don't change because change usually increases that level of uncertainty.  We all need a certain level of certainty in order to feel safe and function well.  Uncertainty usually increases fear which will then leads us to self-sabotaging thoughts and/or actions.  Then, our goals remain just beyond our reach!!
I left an abusive marriage of 16 yrs (beyond scary)... I went back to college at 41 to finish my BA and then I moved on to get my Master's degree.  Never planned on getting my master's but a series of life events pushed me there (however, I always had that desire in the back of my mind).  See how that works?  The intention was there and the universe brought it to me!!  I then decided to become a zumba (R) instructor after being a student for 1.5 yrs and loving every minute of it.  I now teach 4 classes per week. 

Sure, all of these changes were scary!!  But I always ask myself this question when faced with a change, "If I get to the end of my life and look back, would I regret NOT pursuing the change I want"?  If the answer came back to me as "yes", I threw caution to the wind and started moving towards that goal.  Don't get me wrong, I was scared, had 2nd and 3rd doubts, had other people tell me I was crazy, but I just started taking actions steps, and tried my best to not look back.  I can look back now and say that I'm totally glad that I took on the uncertainty of such major changes in my life.  It has made me a much stronger, confident, giving person.  It's getting easier and easier for me to embrace change rather than push it away.

I can also look back and realize that the opportunities were presented to me at exactly the right time and I chose to seize them.  Somehow everything lined up for me which made getting to my goal much easier than I anticipated.  I left a very comfortable job in corporate America to continue my education.  I had no idea how I would support myself... I just believed that everything would work out in my favor.  Guess what?  I got a paid internship, and 2 writing tutor jobs that gave me a decent income.
We often don't seize opportunities when presented to us, only to have them pass us by and it is only later on that we realize that we missed out on once-in-a-lifetime opportunity!!
As the saying goes, "carpe diem".    You really have nothing to lose and everything to gain by embracing the uncertainty and taking those first action steps!!

Stay positive,
Stay true to you!

Sue

Excuses... what are yours?

Perhaps the biggest obstacles making changes in our lives are the excuses we create (yes, create) to keep our wants/desires just beyond our reach.

I've learned that there are two basic reasons why we make excuses:

     1.  We don't really want it (the goal).
     2.  We don't want to do the work required (to reach the goal).

Yup, all the responsibility of attaining our desires lies with us (you).
Here's what else I've learned, most of what we want/desire in our lives requires work and most of us don't want (at least initally) to do the work required so it's just easier to find an excuse.  It's only when the desire to reach the goal or make a change outweighs whatever fears/hesitations we have with making that change that we will pony up and do the work.

After my divorce, I went back to school to complete my Bachelor's degree and then went on to get my Master's degree.  I had wanted to finish my Bachelor's degree for years and one of the bigger fears that held me back was my fear of the math classes required to get the degree.  You see, math is my weakness and it takes way more work for me than many people to grasp certain mathematical concepts.  I didn't have to take trigonometry or calculus... it was algebra I and algebra II.  Yet, I had reached a point in my life where my desire to get that degree outweighed (only slightly) my fear of the math.  I made peace with the fact that I would have to work hard at the math in order to get the degree and that if I did not get an A or even a B, it was ok.  The college offered tutoring 4 nights per week.  I spent a couple of hours at tutoring 2-3 nights per week to help me through those classes.  Whenever I became really discouraged, I kept envisioning my graduation day when I finally received my Bachelor's degree!!  

So, when you think about whatever goal it is you want, and those excuses pop up, ask yourself... is it that I don't really want this change or that I don't want to do the work required of me to get there!!

We live in a fast paced society that hooks us into quick fixes which makes it easy to give up once things become difficult.  Don't buy into it...
Once you get past the excuses, it's much easier to take the action steps to your goal.

"If it is important to you, you will find a way.  If it is not, you will find an excuse."

Stay positive...
Stay true to you...

Sue