Most people would answer this by saying... "courage". This is true to some degree. Over the past year, I've learned that there is a far more empowering opposition to fear and that is... confidence!!
I have a wall hanging in my living room that says...
Confidence - What could you achieve in life if you decided to become totally and blissfully impervious to hostile criticism and rejection? This includes hostile criticism and rejection towards ones self!
I've learned to embrace this saying and whenever faced with the emotion of fear, rather than muster up courage (which just sounds like so much effort/energy)... I say positive affirmations that exude my confidence. I state what I am... as an example, I am a zumba instructor and being a bit older, I often feel that I cannot bring the same energy / intensity to my students as some other instructors (which is a totally self-defeating thought). Whenever I have those thoughts now, I say to myself, "I am an excellent zumba instructor and bring my skills and talents to zumba which energizes and inspires my students". This makes me feel far more empowered and positive then if I were to think, "I have to be courageous and face my fear of failing as a zumba instructor". Can you feel what a different energy each statement creates? And this positive energy goes out into the universe and will bring you the things you want/desire!! I promise. Try it.
So whatever fears you may have about reaching a goal, think of confidence and what that looks like and feels like for you... and then release it out to the universe and watch what happens!!!
Stay positive...
Sue
Thursday, December 29, 2011
Saturday, December 24, 2011
When you change the way you look at things... things change... ~Wayne Dyer
Again, your state of mind when you set out to reach a goal or make a change, is critical to your being successful! Yes, I have said this over and over again. Remember, repetition creates mastery!
The bigger challenge to change is that preconceived notion we have in our brain of how it is going to turn out. When you open yourself up to other ways to look at situations, you become aligned with universal vibrations that will allow for seemingly impossible situations to work out in ways you never imagined!! This is the foundation of postive/desired change in your life.
Consider this: We all know how "bad" the economy is and has been for quite some time. Most of our lives have been turned upside down in ways that we never even imagined due to change in the basic structure of our economy. I've felt that way, but then forced myself to try to see it differently and focus on the positive side of it - which was hard to find at first.
In my opinion our society has become way to focused on money and obtaining "things" over the past few decades. We measure ourselves by the house we own, the car we drive, and owning the newest technology/gadgets. We've somewhat lost focus on truly connecting with people and getting to know them on a deeper level and having meaningful relationships. Not only is this my opinion but I see it every day in my job as a therapist. Truly connecting with others is a dying art.
So, I now see this seemingly horrible economic downturn as a positive. It has shifted our focus away from things and more on people... because when the "things" start to disappear, we are forced to value people more. People have learned to enjoy the simple things in life and do without all of the excess.
Once I embraced this idea, my stress over money, paying bills, etc. started to disappear. Ironically, my income has actually improved dramatically since I made this shift. Why? Because the positive vibrational energy put out to the universe by my thoughts created and allowed changes in my life to bring into it the things I desired... plus, I lost my personal attachments to and negative thinking about money!
As 2012 approaches, I'm sure you are contemplating those New Year's Resolutions of which weight loss/getting fit are at the top of most people's resolution list. Whatever your resolution, what thoughts/sensations in your body come up when you think about that resolution? Are you instantly frustrated/discouraged? Can you only focus on how hard it will be or how you've tried in the past and could not stick to that resolution? If so, guess what? The universe is listening and will deliver to you only what you are expecting. So try to shift that mindset. It worked for me, I asked for a fitness program that allowed me to have fun and not feel contstantly deprived of my favorite foods.... the universe brought zumba to me. It will be 2 years at the beginning of January that I tried my 1st class. I am down 3 sizes (don't know how much weight I've lost because I no longer get on the scale), in the best shape of my life, and am now a certified zumba instructor!
As the title of this post states: When you change the way you look at things... things change... ~Wayne Dyer
Wayne Dyer is one of my favorite inspirational/motivational speakers. I highly recommend his books/audio programs!!
Stay positive!
Sue
The bigger challenge to change is that preconceived notion we have in our brain of how it is going to turn out. When you open yourself up to other ways to look at situations, you become aligned with universal vibrations that will allow for seemingly impossible situations to work out in ways you never imagined!! This is the foundation of postive/desired change in your life.
Consider this: We all know how "bad" the economy is and has been for quite some time. Most of our lives have been turned upside down in ways that we never even imagined due to change in the basic structure of our economy. I've felt that way, but then forced myself to try to see it differently and focus on the positive side of it - which was hard to find at first.
In my opinion our society has become way to focused on money and obtaining "things" over the past few decades. We measure ourselves by the house we own, the car we drive, and owning the newest technology/gadgets. We've somewhat lost focus on truly connecting with people and getting to know them on a deeper level and having meaningful relationships. Not only is this my opinion but I see it every day in my job as a therapist. Truly connecting with others is a dying art.
So, I now see this seemingly horrible economic downturn as a positive. It has shifted our focus away from things and more on people... because when the "things" start to disappear, we are forced to value people more. People have learned to enjoy the simple things in life and do without all of the excess.
Once I embraced this idea, my stress over money, paying bills, etc. started to disappear. Ironically, my income has actually improved dramatically since I made this shift. Why? Because the positive vibrational energy put out to the universe by my thoughts created and allowed changes in my life to bring into it the things I desired... plus, I lost my personal attachments to and negative thinking about money!
As 2012 approaches, I'm sure you are contemplating those New Year's Resolutions of which weight loss/getting fit are at the top of most people's resolution list. Whatever your resolution, what thoughts/sensations in your body come up when you think about that resolution? Are you instantly frustrated/discouraged? Can you only focus on how hard it will be or how you've tried in the past and could not stick to that resolution? If so, guess what? The universe is listening and will deliver to you only what you are expecting. So try to shift that mindset. It worked for me, I asked for a fitness program that allowed me to have fun and not feel contstantly deprived of my favorite foods.... the universe brought zumba to me. It will be 2 years at the beginning of January that I tried my 1st class. I am down 3 sizes (don't know how much weight I've lost because I no longer get on the scale), in the best shape of my life, and am now a certified zumba instructor!
As the title of this post states: When you change the way you look at things... things change... ~Wayne Dyer
Wayne Dyer is one of my favorite inspirational/motivational speakers. I highly recommend his books/audio programs!!
Stay positive!
Sue
Tuesday, December 20, 2011
Mastering changes you don't want or expect...
Ah yes, whether we like it or not, we are bombarded daily with so many changes. It can be daunting and wreak havoc with our stress levels.
How do you manage change when it broadsides you out of nowhere? Our bodies often go into fight or flight mode when changes are big or difficult. This is an actual chemical reaction of the body that sends signals to the brain to stay and fight a situation or run away from it to save ourselves.
Learning to manage the fight or flight response is recognizing that you are feeling this way when experiencing a change and also learning that you can respond differently....
For some reason, our brains often tell us that change is bad and the fight response is triggered and here's where our stress levels go through the roof!! We start to scramble to find ways to resist or modify the change. Then we start making a plan to do so (same type of planning I mentioned in the previous post)... this can often set us up for failure/disappointment which continues to skyrocket our stress level.
How do you avoid this? Learning how to accept the change rather than resist it, is the path to much less stress. How do I know this is true? Think back on the many changes in your life that you thought were so horrific... I pretty much guarantee that at least some of them put you into a better space in your life; we often don't see this until we are way past that dreaded change. Imagine how much stress you could save yourself if you had just realized the possible benefit of the change at the time it happened? Seriously. Think about it!
So the next time you are blindsided but an unexpected (seeming awful) change... say to yourself, "this change is good (even though you may not see at the time), I will be fine". Try to say this with a lot of belief and conviction. This is a positive affirmation (as mentioned in the previous post)... this will send positive energy out into the universe and the universe will smile on you and create situations that you never, ever imagined could happen that will help you to manage that change with ease, and more than likely will put you into a much better situation.
As a side note: Monitor your thoughts carefully, the universe listens to your thoughts and then creates energy to bring those thoughts to you. Hence the expression, "be careful what you wish for"... chances are the difficult change you are experiencing at this moment is a result of something you wished for, you just don't recognize it because it showed up in a package other than the one you envisioned in your mind and you can't "see" the upside of the change as it happens - the good part of it comes much later on!!
Another great reason to "think positively"!!
Sue
How do you manage change when it broadsides you out of nowhere? Our bodies often go into fight or flight mode when changes are big or difficult. This is an actual chemical reaction of the body that sends signals to the brain to stay and fight a situation or run away from it to save ourselves.
Learning to manage the fight or flight response is recognizing that you are feeling this way when experiencing a change and also learning that you can respond differently....
For some reason, our brains often tell us that change is bad and the fight response is triggered and here's where our stress levels go through the roof!! We start to scramble to find ways to resist or modify the change. Then we start making a plan to do so (same type of planning I mentioned in the previous post)... this can often set us up for failure/disappointment which continues to skyrocket our stress level.
How do you avoid this? Learning how to accept the change rather than resist it, is the path to much less stress. How do I know this is true? Think back on the many changes in your life that you thought were so horrific... I pretty much guarantee that at least some of them put you into a better space in your life; we often don't see this until we are way past that dreaded change. Imagine how much stress you could save yourself if you had just realized the possible benefit of the change at the time it happened? Seriously. Think about it!
So the next time you are blindsided but an unexpected (seeming awful) change... say to yourself, "this change is good (even though you may not see at the time), I will be fine". Try to say this with a lot of belief and conviction. This is a positive affirmation (as mentioned in the previous post)... this will send positive energy out into the universe and the universe will smile on you and create situations that you never, ever imagined could happen that will help you to manage that change with ease, and more than likely will put you into a much better situation.
As a side note: Monitor your thoughts carefully, the universe listens to your thoughts and then creates energy to bring those thoughts to you. Hence the expression, "be careful what you wish for"... chances are the difficult change you are experiencing at this moment is a result of something you wished for, you just don't recognize it because it showed up in a package other than the one you envisioned in your mind and you can't "see" the upside of the change as it happens - the good part of it comes much later on!!
Another great reason to "think positively"!!
Sue
Don't lock yourself in...be open...
When most of us try to implement changes in our lives, we often come up with a "plan" on the steps/actions to take towards making the change or meeting the goal. We then think that locking into that plan and following the steps you've come up with is the best way to get to your destination.
Listen to me... amazing things happen when you throw away the plan!! So, how do you get to where you are going without a plan? Well, I think there should be somewhat of a plan but you cannot set it in cement and think that the only way to your goal is through that plan.
Getting there is more about your state of mind than the actual steps to get there!! One more time.. it's more about your state of mind than the steps to get there!! It's only taken me 47 years to learn this...
When moving towards I goal, my first action now is to imagine what it would feel like once I reach the goal... this is critical. Somehow the universe picks up on those vibrations and will begin to set things in motion to align the people, places, and things you need to reach the goal. This is the exact reason why we cannot be married to the plan; when you are married to the plan, different vibrations are sent out to the universe and those vibrations will actually interfere with the universe making things happen for you... you may still get what you want, but there may be so much struggle involved in getting there that you don't recognize that you've received what you've asked for OR you won't appreciate it. Think about it this way, have you ever received something you wished for only to feel deflated/disappointed once you got it? Trust me on this one, that's because it came to you via the complicated plan you devised and tricked yourself into thinking that's what you need to reach your goal.
Here are the 3 things I'd like you to try when setting your next goal:
1. Visualize: Imagine what it feels like when you get to that goal... either draw on similar past expereinces in reaching a goal OR play pretend in your mind (go to your inner child). Use your imagination and think what it would look & feel like to be at your goal.
2. Gratitude: Practice an attitude of gratitude daily. Look around every day and be thankful for the things you have in your life, no matter how small. We take a lot of things in our lives for granted, especially the simple things. An attitude of gratitude creates positive energy vibrations that go out to the universe.
3. Positive affirmations: Practice affirmations daily. As an example... if you want to lose weight, here is a positive affirmation for weight loss: I am at my ideal weight and feel great!! Notice that the statement is in the present tense and is said as if you've already reached your goal. This is critical...
These 3 things will help you to reach goals much faster and with much less effort than you ever anticipated!! Trust me, try it!!
Think postive, be positive!
Sue
Listen to me... amazing things happen when you throw away the plan!! So, how do you get to where you are going without a plan? Well, I think there should be somewhat of a plan but you cannot set it in cement and think that the only way to your goal is through that plan.
Getting there is more about your state of mind than the actual steps to get there!! One more time.. it's more about your state of mind than the steps to get there!! It's only taken me 47 years to learn this...
When moving towards I goal, my first action now is to imagine what it would feel like once I reach the goal... this is critical. Somehow the universe picks up on those vibrations and will begin to set things in motion to align the people, places, and things you need to reach the goal. This is the exact reason why we cannot be married to the plan; when you are married to the plan, different vibrations are sent out to the universe and those vibrations will actually interfere with the universe making things happen for you... you may still get what you want, but there may be so much struggle involved in getting there that you don't recognize that you've received what you've asked for OR you won't appreciate it. Think about it this way, have you ever received something you wished for only to feel deflated/disappointed once you got it? Trust me on this one, that's because it came to you via the complicated plan you devised and tricked yourself into thinking that's what you need to reach your goal.
Here are the 3 things I'd like you to try when setting your next goal:
1. Visualize: Imagine what it feels like when you get to that goal... either draw on similar past expereinces in reaching a goal OR play pretend in your mind (go to your inner child). Use your imagination and think what it would look & feel like to be at your goal.
2. Gratitude: Practice an attitude of gratitude daily. Look around every day and be thankful for the things you have in your life, no matter how small. We take a lot of things in our lives for granted, especially the simple things. An attitude of gratitude creates positive energy vibrations that go out to the universe.
3. Positive affirmations: Practice affirmations daily. As an example... if you want to lose weight, here is a positive affirmation for weight loss: I am at my ideal weight and feel great!! Notice that the statement is in the present tense and is said as if you've already reached your goal. This is critical...
These 3 things will help you to reach goals much faster and with much less effort than you ever anticipated!! Trust me, try it!!
Think postive, be positive!
Sue
Friday, December 2, 2011
The power of your thoughts...
I've reached many goals I've set for myself and when I look back to try to identify what was commom to each of those successes, I realize how critical my general state of mind contributed to the likelihood that I would meet that goal at the time I set the goal!!
At the age of 42, I found myself divorced after 16 years of marriage, a single parent, and feeling pretty scared about what my future would hold. I went back to school to finish my Bachelor's degree in Psychology. This was NOT easy. I attended an intensive Saturday program to complete my classes while working full-time and being a single parent to my 2 sons. I went on to get my Master's degree right after completing the Bachelor's degree. Getting my master's degree was not a planned event. I experienced several changes in my life shortly after I finished my bachelor's degree which sort of pushed me into the direction of pursuing the Master's degree. I had tried numerous times over the years while my sons were growing up to try to finish the bachelor's degree but was only able to chip away at it taking a class here and there. I was very discouraged and hard on myself for not having completed my degree.
When I finally decided to commit to it, there was NOTHING that was going to stand in my way.... and I mean NOTHING!!! I completed both degrees and graduated summa cum laude. Not only that, but left a very secure job in corporate America after being with the same company for 12 years and had absolutely no idea how I would support myself.
Here's what I learned while working on my BA, whenever I got discouraged and wanted to quit (more times than I can count), I would visualize myself on graduation day receiving my diploma. I learned to dismiss all the chatter in my head about how would I ever survive the intensity of the program, juggling a million things at once, etc. I just kept seeing myself getting that degree. When I left my job of 12 yrs, I did the same, I stopped listening to the chatter and let my desire to get my degree outweigh the negative messages in my head ... oh, and I ignored the negative messages I got from the people in my life who would dump all their negative energy on me about how they thought I was nuts, etc. etc. etc.
How did I support myself? I got a paid internship on campus through Americorps that paid me a monthly stipend of $670. I then started to look for jobs on campus. I found a position for a writing tutor that paid $15 per hour. I had a significant other during this time, but his income was limited. I struggled but managed to get by... I learned to sacrifice a lot of those little extras we take for granted.
There was time in my life that if I had left that job to complete my degree without any idea of how I would support myself, I would have probably had a mental breakdown stressing over the details of how to support myself. Instead of thinking it would never happen, I started letting those feelings go and taking action steps towards finding ways I could make money.
The other factor that helped was that I fully recognized from the start that I would need to sacrifice things to get to my goals. Unfortunately, we live in a society that floods us with media images/stories that make it look like people's success happens overnight and without sacrifice. This is a fairy tale folks...
Besides giving up some of life's little luxuries, I also realized that I would have to temporarily forego my lifetime of eating right and regular exercise while I was going to school. I had a very frank conversation with myself and realized that I would probably put on weight and be somewhat out of shape, but that it was OK because I was working towards something VERY important to me. I had also had a long enough track record of praticing good nutrition and exercise that I HAD to intuitively know that I would be able to get back on track. I also gave up the notion of keeping my house super neat and clean while I was in school. I must say, that is a habit I divorced with no animosity. I don't live in a dump by any means but I also don't obsess about it like I did in the past!
So the big step before you start on the small steps to change is checking in with your thoughts around the likelihood of your success/failure in your journey to your goals. It is also critical to be honest with yourself and realize that some other part of your life may have to "give" while you are working towards your goal. Surround yourself with supportive people, even if it is only 1 or 2. Force your brain to focus on positivity and learn to shrug off negativity. The more you practice this, the easier it gets and you will be totally AMAZED at how things will begin to work out in your favor!
I gained about 45 lbs. in grad school. About a year after I finished, I started to work on creating (with my thoughts) a fitness plan that worked for me that did not involve hours in the gym, obsessive dieting, and I wanted to have fun getting fit. Low and behold, I saw a sign one day for a free zumba class... I knew I was bored with working out at the gym and that I loved to dance. I thought, "what have I got to lose"? It's now 2 years later, I am down almost 3 sizes and probably in the best shape of my life thanks to zumba. I watch what I eat but I don't diet (I've never believed in diets... it's all about improving your eating habits and increasing your activity level)... My passion for zumba lead me to become a certified instructor this past summer. I have never had so much fun in my life, I love bringing the benefits and joy of zumba to other people. This experienced has boosted my confidence level ten fold and is helping me to pursue some of my other goals!!!! The other really cool thing I recently realized is that when I was growing up, I always fantasized about being a great dancer. I took a dance class when I was about 13 which was short lived, so I basically gave up on my dancer dream. Now, at 47, I am a dancer... I choreograph dances and teach them to people! I can't tell you how much I am amazed that I am living one of my dreams long after I had totally dismissed such an experience. Dancing brings me joy and I love sharing that joy with others.
If you are skeptical about the power of your thoughts, consider this... when a major drug company tests a new drug, they use two groups - the treatment group and the control group. The treatment group actually receives the drug, the control group receives a sugar pill (neither group knows if they are getting the drug or the sugar pill). Drug manufacturers gauge the effectiveness of the drug on how the results of the treatment group compares to the control group!! In other words, the control group already has an expectation of some type of benefit from the drug and because they expect those benefits, many will actually experience those benefits even though they took the sugar pill!
If you think you can do a thing or think you can't do a thing, you're right. ~Henry Ford
Your thoughts have a-mazing power!!!!
'Til next time... stay postive and don't sweat the details!
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