The power of your thoughts...

I've reached many goals I've set for myself and when I look back to try to identify what was commom to each of those successes, I realize how critical my general state of mind contributed to the likelihood that I would meet that goal at the time I set the goal!! 

At the age of 42, I found myself divorced after 16 years of marriage, a single parent, and feeling pretty scared about what my future would hold.  I went back to school to finish my Bachelor's degree in Psychology.  This was NOT easy.  I attended an intensive Saturday program to complete my classes while working full-time and being a single parent to my 2 sons.   I went on to get my Master's degree right after completing the Bachelor's degree.  Getting my master's degree was not a planned event. I experienced several changes in my life shortly after I finished my bachelor's degree which sort of pushed me into the direction of pursuing the Master's degree.  I had tried numerous times over the years while my sons were growing up to try to finish the bachelor's degree but was only able to chip away at it taking a class here and there.  I was very discouraged and hard on myself for not having completed my degree.

When I finally decided to commit to it, there was NOTHING that was going to stand in my way.... and I mean NOTHING!!!  I completed both degrees and graduated summa cum laude.  Not only that, but left a very secure job in corporate America after being with the same company for 12 years and had absolutely no idea how I would support myself. 

Here's what I learned while working on my BA, whenever I got discouraged and wanted to quit (more times than I can count), I would visualize myself on graduation day receiving my diploma.  I learned to dismiss all the chatter in my head about how would I ever survive the intensity of the program, juggling a million things at once, etc.   I just kept seeing myself getting that degree.  When I left my job of 12 yrs, I did the same, I stopped listening to the chatter and let my desire to get my degree outweigh the negative messages in my head ... oh, and I ignored the negative messages I got from the people in my life who would dump all their negative energy on me about how they thought I was nuts, etc. etc. etc.  

How did I support myself?   I got a paid internship on campus through Americorps that paid me a monthly stipend of $670.   I then started to look for jobs on campus.  I found a position for a writing tutor that paid $15 per hour.   I had a significant other during this time, but his income was limited.  I struggled but managed to get by... I learned to sacrifice a lot of those little extras we take for granted. 

There was time in my life that if I had left that job to complete my degree without any idea of how I would support myself, I would have probably had a mental breakdown stressing over the details of how to support myself.  Instead of thinking it would never happen, I started letting those feelings go and taking action steps towards finding ways I could make money.

The other factor that helped was that I fully recognized from the start that I would need to sacrifice things to get to my goals.  Unfortunately, we live in a society that floods us with media images/stories that make it look like people's success happens overnight and without sacrifice.  This is a fairy tale folks...

Besides giving up some of life's little luxuries, I also realized that I would have to temporarily forego my lifetime of eating right and regular exercise while I was going to school.  I had a very frank conversation with myself and realized that I would probably put on weight and be somewhat out of shape, but that it was OK because I was working towards something VERY important to me.  I had also had a long enough track record of praticing good nutrition and exercise that I HAD to intuitively know that I would be able to get back on track.  I also gave up the notion of keeping my house super neat and clean while I was in school.   I must say, that is a habit I divorced with no animosity.  I don't live in a dump by any means but I also don't obsess about it like I did in the past!

So the big step before you start on the small steps to change is checking in with your thoughts around the likelihood of your success/failure in your journey to your goals.  It is also critical to be honest with yourself and realize that some other part of your life may have to "give" while you are working towards your goal.  Surround yourself with supportive people, even if it is only 1 or 2.  Force your brain to focus on positivity and learn to shrug off negativity.  The more you practice this, the easier it gets and you will be totally AMAZED at how things will begin to work out in your favor!

I gained about 45 lbs. in grad school.  About a year after I finished, I started to work on creating (with my thoughts) a fitness plan that worked for me that did not involve hours in the gym, obsessive dieting, and I wanted to have fun getting fit.  Low and behold, I saw a sign one day for a free zumba class... I knew I was bored with working out at the gym and that I loved to dance.  I thought, "what have I got to lose"?   It's now 2 years later, I am down almost 3 sizes and probably in the best shape of my life thanks to zumba.  I watch what I eat but I don't diet (I've never believed in diets... it's all about improving your eating habits and increasing your activity level)...  My passion for zumba lead me to become a certified instructor this past summer.  I have never had so much fun in my life, I love bringing the benefits and joy of zumba to other people.  This experienced has boosted my confidence level ten fold and is helping me to pursue some of my other goals!!!!  The other really cool thing I recently realized is that when I was growing up, I always fantasized about being a great dancer.  I took a dance class when I was about 13 which was short lived, so I basically gave up on my dancer dream.  Now, at 47, I am a dancer... I choreograph dances and teach them to people!  I can't tell you how much I am amazed that I am living one of my dreams long after I had totally dismissed such an experience.  Dancing brings me joy and I love sharing that joy with others.

If you are skeptical about the power of your thoughts, consider this... when a major drug company tests a new drug, they use two groups - the treatment group and the control group.  The treatment group actually receives the drug, the control group receives a sugar pill (neither group knows if they are getting the drug or the sugar pill).  Drug manufacturers gauge the effectiveness of the drug on how the results of the treatment group compares to the control group!!  In other words, the control group already has an expectation of some type of benefit from the drug and because they expect those benefits, many will actually experience those benefits even though they took the sugar pill!  

If you think you can do a thing or think you can't do a thing, you're right.  ~Henry Ford

Your thoughts have a-mazing power!!!! 

'Til next time... stay postive and don't sweat the details!